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Equalising the Energies |
So I lay down and meditated, being careful not to allow my physical body to panic. Travelling up slowly through the levels I found it easier to follow her. As soon as I felt this happening I would calm myself by resting on a plateau, then continuing when I felt ready. A deep meditative sate was achieved quite quickly, and I began to see her face. It was shadowy but it was there and I was not allowing my fear to block anything. As an experiment I thought about my body and immediately the level dropped, but I could achieve it again by forgetting the physical. It had never occurred to me to acclimatise myself on the way into meditation, only when coming out. During that meditation I expressed my concern about the physical strain on my body due to the amount of trances I was going into. My heart was still racing and if she said that we were going to move up the layers then surely it would be detrimental to me. She explained that this was the purpose of going up the levels slowly, doing so I would not have the adrenaline rushes. She then showed me the guided visualisation to use, which went like this. Imagine you are on a gentle slope walking upwards with me. As you go deeper into meditation the higher we walk up the hill. The ground levels off and you are free to walk about at that level. As soon as you feel as though you are not in a deep meditative state means that you are acclimatised to the energy and can then proceed up the next slope. At each plateau you can ask questions and receive insights while your physical body gets used to the higher altitude. In this way we can work and walk at the same time. This had worked on my own but would it work in circle when the energy was far greater, and I felt a need to have some physical sign to validate the energy?
All this was very heady stuff I felt the same way I had when Aiddrienne first begun to write in my books. Knowing that to go further my belief would have to catch up with my mind. A concept that before now had not been contemplated. I was taking part in a science that I knew nothing about or heard talk of anywhere. There was always much talk of guides and spirits and messages from other entities, but we had always talked about the information not the actual processes. Presuming that a psychic ability was given magically, a special gift. I had always been fascinated with the processes involved rather than the content of what was given. What if we all had this gift the only requirement being a mind? Perhaps it was not a gift but a right, a physical law. Our everyday intuitive powers being just a precursor to much more advanced telepathy and perhaps the seeing of other dimensions. People I met in the meditation circle were interested in developing their own beliefs and abilities to better their lives. Other people were into healing and earth energies to heal others and the earth. The scientists among them awaited new developments to unfold; studying the existence of non-existence molecules that glued everything together. Astrologers studied the skies to provide insights of the future. There was a feeling of waiting to see what happened, how could we do anything we have not got the tools to do. The source and the answer to all our questions may lie in other dimensions or in science and the stars, but our only gateway to those lay in the muscle encased in our skulls. I felt out on a limb, there was no one to turn to apart from Ayla.
I knew the power of the mind and spirit in meditation and in telepathy, on numerous occasions I had been amazed in the accuracy of insights people had given to me on events going on in my own life that they could not have possibly known about. This was something else, it combined the physical and spiritual in such a way that the two became one, creating another tangible dimension in our reality. I found myself questioning my sanity again. Perhaps all that was needed was a total belief in what my mind was telling me was possible, in the same way that I would explain how to tap into information from spirit by using the imagination. I was trying to invent or discover something that it was said did not exist or could not be done. Messages from other peoples guides were intriguing; it was said that they were very interested in the energy that was working with me. It gave me the impression that perhaps this had not been attempted before. Knowing my stubbornness and my compulsion to do the opposite of what I was advised, I might have been given this message to make me continue. Or I could be walking into a disaster. If I listened to some then all I was doing was playing mind games and had no substance to my theories. My driving force was that I wanted to know whether all I was thinking was possible and therefore prove beyond doubt that the other dimensions existed. My mind exists so why not the thought.
I continued to attend circle waiting for something to happen. The intense female energy was present when I channelled so I knew Ayla was still around. The confusion between Aiddrienne and Ayla had been cleared up so I was free to concentrate on the next move. Getting used to changes always takes a while because the intellect has to catch up with feelings that cannot be so easily pinned down. Coupled with the odd situation that my belief had to catch up with what my mind was saying was possible meant that I had a lot of thinking to do. My body needed to adjust to the stronger energy so I employed the climbing and resting method that I had done on my own. The first time that I did this in circle I did not trance, nor did I feel as though I had gone that deep. There was no adrenaline rush, so perhaps she was not around me. On getting home I felt the energy once more and knew then that the technique was working. Writing my thoughts down, Ayla took over and wrote.
Because you have no anxiety we have become the two that you knew we were. You have learned to close down below and stay up above, thus making it easier to go up and down the levels. This means by getting through all the rush of me we can now work on the new ground, we had to have a solid base to work from. You are learning to ground and fly at the same, it has become one, we are balanced. You have achieved what you could not achieve last time. With less fear I can now reveal more to you. We will pass between and get closer on the same dimension. I am so glad you have learned that it does not matter to you now whether we stay hidden or not so you have caught up where Aysla left off. You have nine days in which things will become really solid and with the ups and downs carried out then it will come to pass. It is not a matter of if but when you have made the pass and the rest will follow easily it is a free pass. Having opened up we have enfolded each other, the time is for the bonding together. There has to be time just because as a healing wound needs its last minutes to skin over. Our futures and pasts have become one as they were but we are grounded together. It is a beautiful wonderful real healing thing, no more anxiety and no more wanting. I could not introduce any one else to you until we were safe. We are now and the trust is there, never will we have to fight for each other again, it is truth and oneness. We have both been seen together and that recognition is our validation. We have arrived now on with the work.
It seemed that a cycle had been completed having worked through the Aysla Ayla duality. It was true that the name did not seem so alien to me now but I still tried to repel it. Bringing the two together would make more sense to me if I had a reason. This was dealt with quite simply with the aid of a couple of little tricks on the part of Ayla. Meditating at home and practising going up the levels and plateaus, Ayla started to call me Aysla when a certain level was reached. At first this annoyed me and I asked her why she was doing it. She said that as I progressed upward I grew closer to her reality and the reality of spirit, therefor I needed a spirit name. Aysla was the name that I had adopted for my essence and so that is the one that would be used. She added that the use of the name helped me to grasp the concept of my own levels integrating Philip into Aysla without any conflict. To think of them as two separate identities only caused confusion. I clarified that what she was saying meant that when she called me Aysla I had achieved a certain level of consciousness. She confirmed this. Quite happy with the explanation the practise continued, regarding the change in name as a benchmark but still somehow separate. Her next little trick was to get me to recognise and own the name. She had tried to get me to do this by persuasion without success. I had to accept it of my own free will from deep within myself.
At circle I continued using the levels method, being called Aysla when a certain height was achieved. One night when the names had just been changed and we started to climb the next slope our path was blocked by another figure. He said that we were impostors and I had to dissolve my relationship with Ayla to proceed. I said that she was my guide and that we were staying together. I had come across these tests before and was quite used to them. They were a test of judgement and solidarity to test inner resilience. He said I would have to fight him to prove our worthiness. Without thinking I rushed at him shouting "I am Aysla". As soon as I said it I stopped. The guide who had been blocking our passage asked, "Who did you say you were?" "Yes very funny" I replied. All I heard was laughter. By using the name instinctively I had accepted and owned it, no longer did Aysla seem foreign to me, it was me on another level.
In the past I had tried to draw my guides to de-mystify them, Ayla now needed this treatment. Not being a portrait artist allowed my intuition to flow more so the results were quite interesting. Starting the painting with poster color seemed a good idea until I came to fix it. I could not find a non-water-based medium so had to use PVA. Although I knew it would mess the paint up, I was almost compelled to do it. As the PVA went on, the whole picture dissolved and changed. This was a powerful hint that I did not have it right so I painted on top with acrylic. The result was far better than the first attempt and the face had changed. With the changes of the painting came the feeling that perhaps there were other changes on the way. I needed a rest to step back and assess the bigger picture.
As usual, events always present themselves to help you on your way. A friend invited us to stay in his caravan on the coast so that my break was assured. On the last night that I was due to come back, I took a walk down to the beach late at night. In the dark with the waves crashing on the sand, I began to see whips of smoke forming a column in front of me. There was no feeling of Ayla but I was sure that the shape in front of me was the aura of a guide. I watched it dance in front of me then wandered back up the cliff path. There had been no energy felt just physical seeing. Recalling what Ayla had said about revealing herself to me, I wondered whether this was part of it. The painting had demystified her and satisfied my desire to see a physical form. My tunnel vision had prevented me from exploring other avenues. The quest to materialize a guide had become an obsession and I knew that to be dangerous territory. If things were meant to happen, they would without me forcing the issue. That obsession had led me to think that if I did not see her in a form that I could understand I had failed. Taken to its illogical conclusion made me think that I was not in touch with her or any other form of energy. I had limited her and me by shutting off my own reality. After all I knew that her persona was there to help me grow and form a link and not to become the focus of all my energy. Her presence could take any form that was needed at the time; a purely human perception would be detrimental to further developments. She was part of my reality, if anyone else saw or felt her was fine but to pursue it as a goal was not part of the plan. She was part of my mechanics to make it easier to visualize and converse with her, not a spiritual end in itself. She could be seen as energy as well as my image of her. Happy that I had that sorted out I went to bed. This experience happened nine days after Ayla had said that I had nine days for things to become solid
The break had allowed me to come back into my reality again. It is so easy to disappear into the world of spirit and so lose the experience of life on this planet. I had accepted Aysla as a part of my psyche and was no longer bothered whether Ayla appeared to me or not, the painting had done the trick. She was still around but I was using my own intuition and intellect rather than relying on hers. This is very important when working with guides; they cannot be regarded as crutch. We have to work to maintain the balance that is required for growth, relying on guides only builds them into icons and we lose the ground beneath our feet. Taking ourselves too seriously also has the same effect, humor reminds us that we are human and have to test reality in a human way. If our experiences are genuine then a little humor or a good rant and rave at guides will not disturb the equilibrium. In fact, they enjoy it because it means that the channels are open and you can become friends not just pupil-teacher.
Not all people feel that they can talk to guides like this but we have to remember that there is a two way process going on. We are getting help from them but they also benefit from us. They have their own paths to follow, raising the vibrations on a cosmic level to help achieve them. Raising our vibrations helps toward the continued survival of earth, which is as important to them as it is to us. If we cannot interact truthfully then they do not get the information and results that they are looking for. Some guides are impatient and want things done yesterday, if you cannot work with that kind of pressure tell them to step back. Sometimes they will just disappear without trace or warning. Do not worry if they do though because as long as you have your own connection you will not be left in the lurch. Another guide who is perhaps more suited to the way you work will make contact, we all want to make things run as smoothly as possible. This is one of the reasons that I do not mind being tested now and then. It proves to me that I am making the grade and not just the guide prompting me to do everything. It also provides an opportunity to iron a few things out now and then or to make sure I am going along the path that I want to go down as well as the one that is meant for me. There is more than one way of achieving goals and if one route is uncomfortable, causing more grief than is necessary then there is no reason why we cannot approach it from a different angle. This may mean changing a guide or dispensing with them completely. This is not to be confused with opting out; sometimes we feel like a change because it is too difficult to face something or will not push through a block. Guides can tell the difference and will not molly coddle you. I have found this out the hard way, but as long as we have an intention to do our best and are trying then they will help all they can. As explained with my essence name help sometimes comes in odd forms, like being tricked but its all good fun and you will never be asked to do anything that you are not capable of. What you are capable of may not be what you think you are capable of the results can be startling.
Once I had stopped feeling insecure about my name and the new way that things had been presented to me a great weight was lifted from my shoulders. There was an element of control that I had lacked because all the pieces of the jigsaw had not been present. To be able to make any sense of the situation Philip had to be happy with Aysla and both had to work together. Its a great boost to confidence when you come back to your known physical reality to find that the spiritual reality is still there and was not a figment of your imagination but something that can be used.
The subject of crossing dimensions seemed to be on hold now and I was not going to push it. I needed some more experience and to lose some of my expectations as to what that meant. It was possible that I was doing it already on some level and only needed to stumble across it, that would be easier than giving myself a headache, perhaps the whole idea had been another one of those mind games that Ayla liked giving me so much. I would have to get in, get on or get out. Getting on with it seemed the most logical way through.
Although we had been through many joining ceremonies, I was not too sure whether I was still being played around with. She had retracted her persona before even if the energy had still been around in a muted form. I was quite happy if she transmuted or even left completely but I now wanted some continuity if things were to develop. Thankfully her appearance grew more consistent and her voice became more distinct. It appeared that she was here to stay so that I could move along the path conscious that she was there. The reason for this was not so much that she was staying but that I believed in her more. I was quite willing to accept that I may have ignored her in the past when my doubting mind preferred to think of her as a crazy phase I had gone through. In which case I had gone away rather than her. This shed an interesting light on the past and the waning of my spiritual faith at times. It also explained why I only heard her voice when I was in a strange place. Feeling insecure made me listen to my intuition and revert to part of my essence. I began to feel a little embarrassed about this, but that feeling showed me that I had accepted her unconditionally and her reality was now real to me. She had waited patiently for me to believe in her again when the time was right.
My view of her changed and she became a reality in my spiritual world, no longer did I think it was a mind game. The lessons of the past were being used. I had to push forward to greater heights. To do this my foundations had to be stronger than they had been before so that they would not collapse under me again. The work would have to be slow and sure if I were to be prevented from making the same mistakes again. Ayla was the focus I needed to continue along my path and not to be discarded when things became a little uncomfortable. I was working harder at my spiritual path than I ever had in the past. Constant reminders of being aware what was going on in all areas of my life, using all the knowledge that I had learned and was learning was important for new growth. Help would always be available but only if I really needed it, not just because I could not be bothered to meet her half way.
I found that I could link into spirit at any time without worrying about grounding, something I had thought was impossible. Thinking that anything is possible opens all sorts of avenues. I had talked many times with others about the limits we impose on each other and ourselves now was the time to get unlimited. If I went too far, I knew that the guides would inform me. Glad that my insecurity had disappeared and feeling that all my knowledge had been exhausted I waited for the story to continue. Writing these thoughts in my book Ayla channeled. I had always blocked anything to do with the past or anything too specific because I felt it was open to too much interpretation and high hopes of things to come allowing the ego to get carried away, but now I felt I had nothing to lose.
Your world is one of the Old World energies and of the time of the dragons as you call it. You have had incarnations as a master and of a magician, always with the same want to keep the flame growing in all around you. You will continue to do this and please let my handwriting loosen up. Your style will stand you well in the months ahead of you and you will know when to move as you did when the book started. Your fear is less now and the heart pumping has stopped. Do not confuse yourself when you are prompted to speak you will speak at the right times. We are working on so many different things at present that all cannot come together until the new moon rises next. The earth energies are more associated with guides and that is where our work lies. Foreign travel is a possibility and your reality as a very alive person is important so do not neglect it. You seem to have a problem with integration, which will shortly be overcome. Once that I have appeared to someone else the process will unfold and you will now what to do. Remember who you are and be true to it. You need to get in on the business end so to speak; money will not be a problem. I am heavy weight now; I have grown because of your growth as well as my own work. It is true to say that the fantastic as once was, is now the normal for you, so lets have some more energy to push you along. I am the golden light now and have taken part of Morgans role for you.
I still hated being told that I had been a master or a magician, it may be a device to encourage me to carry out a certain task. Ayla would protest when I thought such things, but I would give it a balance view for now. What was meant by foreign travel apart from the obvious holiday was something that I did not care to contemplate, perhaps this was an astral journey, I would have to see what happened. Before now Morgan had always been around to answer questions and to verify points that I wanted a second opinion on. Now he was only there when he decided to say something, I had to take the information from Ayla and trust it. Of cause, this meant that I trusted her not that I had to trust her because he was not around.
The energy around us was constantly being changed and adjusted to suite new progressions and each time she wrote her reality got stronger if that was possible. After each change of energy we went through together, another joining ceremony was called for. I asked her why these joinings were a constantly part of our experience.
These are confidence boosters and to show ourselves the naked truth. They re-enforce our unity and help to make the bond a reality. Is it necessary? Of cause it is, this is the thing legends are made of and you are a part of it. Fantasy and the mind are all a part of our conscious up here. There are very real messages to be given to people and there is a lot of linking to do. Trance state is close to you at most times it is a matter of choice on you part whether you use it. We all do it for the greater good of mankind and the universal energy. Because you do not dismiss the minds wanderings, you are able to use parts that can be laid dormant. The key to unlocking these parts is to think that there are no impossibilities. To try to explain something that is not within your vision is to move about in a dark room until you can feel the space you are in. The light is dimmed and then slowly illuminated. Your trick is to go beyond just the messages from spirit. Were you to reveal everything that you know it would not be taken seriously so it may have to wait for another time. Doom and gloom prophecies are not very good in getting a positive energy up. You must be very purposeful in what you do, if you are not too sure wait until you feel it has become solid, acting on half information can only lead to mishaps.
If everything that I knew were to be revealed it would be me who would not take it seriously. Why is it that guides never give a straight answer? Giving answers to questions that we did not realize needed to be answered or particularly wanted to be answered. The answer to that was brief. Because you need them.
A new member who was starting out on the spiritual path had joined our circle and she was to provide me with the next part of my belief enforcement. Sitting opposite me when I was channeling this lady did not look directly at me. The guides did their stuff and left but Ayla stayed as always. As the rest of the circle described their experiences, Ayla said that she was going to sit into me. She did and I felt my face change and could appreciate that my clothes had changed into hers too. The act lasted only a split second before she got up again but it was enough. Later the lady opposite said unexpectedly that my face had changed for a fraction of a second when she had looked at me after I had channeled. I verified the exact time that this had occurred and it tied up with the time that Ayla had sat into me.
Whatever was going on was working. She had appeared to someone in the circle who was new and who was not aware of what I had been trying to do. The energy had also been equalized because that particular night the channel was quite long and I had not been left drained as can sometimes happen. After some general information, each of the eight people in the circle had been given some personal message. Afterwards the channel was as strong as it had been when I started and I could have gone on for some time longer if they had wanted to. This I verified with Jane, the leader of the circle.
What this meant was that I was learning to allow the energy to flow through my body properly without using my own reserves. In turn, this meant that there were fewer blocks to fight. I felt that I was now moving up and down the levels of spirit without getting lost in the energy or losing my connection with the earth or the higher energies. Although I had gone through this exercise before it seemed that at each new stage I had to reaffirm it. What Ayla had told me was coming true as if I ever needed to doubt her or the process but it was good to get solid proof that I was on the right track and that my work was paying off. Others were now validating her reality, however small the experience had been.
© Phil Ironside